10 Psychologist Tips for Healthy Conversations During Stressful Times

Waking up to a new President, visiting that family member, setting high expectations for the holidays--there can be a lot of stress between now and the end of the year. Watch the WFMY 2 Your Well-Being Q&A with David Gutterman, PhD, with Cone Health LeBauer Behavioral Medicine to add new coping stratgies to your toolbox and refocus the last quarter of the year on enjoying family, friends and festivities.

Learn how to have healthy conversations, de-escalate conflict and manage stress with these ten expert tips:

Key Tips for Healthy Conversations:

1. Have a Plan: Before entering a conversation, have a clear idea of what you want to achieve. This will help you stay focused and avoid getting sidetracked.
2. Be Mindful of Triggers: If you're in a group setting, be aware of what topics might trigger strong emotions in others. Avoid these topics if possible.
3. Redirect the Conversation: If a conversation starts to head in a negative direction, don't be afraid to redirect it. You can simply say, "I'm not comfortable discussing this topic right now," or "Let's talk about something else."
4. Take a Break: If you start to feel overwhelmed or agitated, take a break. Step away from the situation, take a deep breath, and remind yourself of your objective for the conversation.
5. Avoid Substance Use: While it might seem tempting to use alcohol or other substances to relax, this can actually exacerbate the situation by decreasing inhibitions and causing the opposite effect.
6. Speak Calmly and Respectfully: Avoid raising your voice or using aggressive language. Instead, speak calmly and respectfully, even if you disagree with the other person.
7. Acknowledge Others' Feelings: You may not know a person's history or life experiences, so if you accidentally say something that upsets someone, apologize sincerely and acknowledge their feelings using language like, "I see that I've upset you. That was definitely not my intent and I am very sorry. We can talk about something else."
8. Watch for Signs of Escalation: Pay attention to nonverbal cues, such as increased volume, body language, and facial expressions. If you notice that a conversation is becoming heated, try to de-escalate the situation.
9. Set Positive Expectations: Before a gathering, review comfortable topics such as commonalities, then communicate your expectations to others. Let them know that you're looking forward to spending time with them and that you'd like to keep the conversation positive.
10. Address Issues Privately: If someone is visibly upset, address the issue privately. Avoid calling attention to their emotions in front of others. If someone is reacting outwardly, use tip 7 to apologize sincerely and redirect the conversation.